Today's post is more on the personal journal side of things and about a matter of prospective. A prospective that I need to remind myself that, as much as a part of my mind would like to think otherwise, I'm not a professional table tennis player and the point of playing this game is to have fun right?
I'll start from the top. Last Sunday at club night, (yes club night. Not even a tournament... Club night. Let that sink in) I pulled my best John McEnroe imitation and completely lost it after a series of losses and silly unforced errors that put me over the top. Oh John would have been proud. Where he smacked his orange juice with his racket, I kicked and broke, my water bottle. Where he berated the umpire, I... well we didn't have an umpire but I let out a loud F bomb just the same. It was and is embarrassing. I'm 36 and for me to be acting this way just makes me shake my head as I expect more from myself. Nothing wrong with being competitive. I'll never apologize for that. But at some point one has to pull it together and give a tip the cap to the other guy and say "good game". It is just a game after all. Not a measure of self worth.
So how did I get to this point? This is where the matter of prospective got skewed. Over the last month or so, I have twisted this idea in my head that my level needs to improve and I have to get better. Nothing wrong with wanting to play better. But that's different from feeling like I have to get better. I have gone from playing a twiddling short/long pip penhold game to duel inverted penhold in search for more power. I traded what I loved about having a fun, quirky style for what I deemed to be more likely to have me playing at a higher level. That much might even be true. The duel inverted route in time might actually get me to a higher level. It is the common style among professionals after all. But notice I said the first style was fun. I didn't say that about the second.
And that's the point of this. To have fun. Truth be told, with working 40 hours a week at my full time job, family obligations in having two wonderful young girls to look after, and playing once a week for just over 3 hours, how could I expect more? It only makes sense. For me to play at a significantly higher level, I would have to play multiple times a week and for at least twice, maybe three times as many playing hours per week. When I stop to think about what that would take I've come to the very real conclusion. That wouldn't be worth it to me. Not only could I not do that, I wouldn't want to. I love table tennis. It's the funnest sport I've ever player & will ever play. But given my circumstances, I'm good with keeping it recreational.
So lets make things right.
Step 1
Apologize to my great friend and training partner... Done. I did that, felt at peace with it and his response back to me meant more to me than he will ever know.
Step 2
Be a good role model going forward for what's good sportsmanship and overall someone people enjoy to play with... Will start that this Sunday.
Step 3
Finally have some fun. Play whatever style I want. Win or lose. Just have fun with it. That is the point of this game anyways... Remember this? This is what playing table tennis is about.
Now does anybody have a water bottle I can have? ;)
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